So I choose you......I really do.(practice blog)

In a you or me situation I chose…….you? Since I didn’t write a blog for last week this one will cover the mind switch I have had from the last practice blog I was going to write until the one I am writing now.  I remember last week around this time I was reading “How Yoga Works” and it was on the part about putting other before you…..being willing to take others pain into yourself in order to eliminate it…ect. Ect. The whole time I am reading this….I am thinking so in a you or me situation I choose you…yeah no maybe yoga won’t work for me. Selfish I know, but I have been through more than any person my age should have to go through especially at the age I went through them. I have had to…emphasis on the “had” to think about others before I make a decision about myself…..I sacrifice a lot just so someone could feel better about themselves and I told myself I would never do it again…..never. Anyway I bet you are wondering what this has to do with my practice. I will tell you but later on in the blog. Once I finally got over the fact that the teacher in the book was still willing to teach the captain even after all the bull crap that happen to her….I realized she is a better person than I am and that I need to start keeping my room clean. So after reading….I went to clean my room…..thus I was doing yoga

Back to the how putting other before myself affected my practice. So in class this past Tuesday I felt out of sorts(one because I missed class on Thursday and two because I didn’t do my blog……not to mention I never really went through routines at home……..except for the restoratives one). The point is I realized that I wasn’t taking yoga a serious as I thought I was…..so the whole “good feeling” I wanted to get from this class wasn’t going to happen because I wasn’t planting the seed so it could happen(not to mention I felt guilty as hell). I figured something had to change and so I thought back to the beginning of the book and I remember when she told the Captain that if he was doing his practice for someone other than himself…he would actually do the practice at home. So I decided to start doing yoga for my brother, Peanut…..real name is Jimmy but we call him Peanut. I chose him because he is so lost…….I am not so delusional that I believe that if I am diligent in doing my practice he will magically see the light. However I do believe that is if I do yoga and believe in its message maybe I can help him find that peace he lost so long ago…..or at least move myself out the way enough to be his big sister again. Anyway it worked….Wednesday I did a little practice….nothing serious just straighten my spine standing in tadasanas(that is not how you spell it I know) and I think downward facing dog. I did it Friday same standing pose but I added tree pose and standing forward bend, big toe grab, and standing on your hands(though I feel like Friday I did the poses more to get my out of negative thoughts than my brother). Saturday I really almost didn’t do but (and I kid you not I thought about peanut and I got of bed). I did almost a full standing routine…all the ones I mention earlier and warrior one or 2….triangle and wide legged standing forward bend, and I added upward facing dog. Then I did give and take…more like take and pray. I imagine my brother in his room alone and laying down….sleeping and sad…..so I imagine myself taking deep breaths and sucking the sadness out of him and when I sucked all I could handle out of him into me…..I did something I haven’t done in a month or two…..I sincerely prayed for him. So anyway that is my outside of class practice. Oh and I decided to take Sunday off(my day of rest).

Apologies for all the bad grammar.