Tuesday, October 4, 2011

The Anti-Yama

Just yesterday I was thinking to myself, “You know I am stressed because I can’t stand the thoughts going on inside my own head……there are too many and hard to make out but I know all of them are bad thoughts”.  Ever since I started this class I have been trying to change my thought process especially when I got to the seeds (trading good seeds for bad seeds). Then I get to this sutra that reads “Upon being harassed by negative thoughts, one should cultivate counteracting thoughts” and I immediately highlight it because I am attempting and been attempting that for the past two weeks (who would have thunk it……I was doing yoga philosophy style).

I want to take the time to point out word choices: harassed and cultivate. The sutra could have easily read “Upon being bothered/annoyed/bogged down in negative thought, one should think knew ones”. I feel like the word harassed is better than bothered, annoyed, or bogged down because when someone(something in the case) harassing you they are intending to hurt you…..make you feel uncomfortable…..needling you get a reaction(usually a negative one). When something/someone bothers, annoys, or bogs you down it is usually not intentional and sometimes it only happens because you haven’t communicated to the person or fully prepared for the thing. So I feel like using the word harassed shows that the negative thoughts you are experience are not welcome…..mean you harm…..and not just a minor discomfort but a major problem that you need to address immediately because it only gets worse. Using the word cultivate instead of think is easy to figure out because well it is not as easy as thinking you have to work on it. What I mean is if changing negative thought to positive were as easy as thinking them then there wouldn’t be depression, anxiety, rage, anger, sadness or any other negative thought because all you have to do is think them away. No it doesn’t work like that. Webster defines cultivate many ways but my favorites are: “to prepare or prepare and use for the raising of crops; also: to loosen or break up the soil about (growing plants)” and “to improve by labor, care, or study”. All three definition say the same things in different text but basically you have to work at it…..it won’t come over night. If you are going to change your negative thinking you are going to have to put in time, effort, sweat, a lot of tears, failed attempts, and disappointments. In other words, changing your thought process is not for the light hearted and yoga is not easy.

How does this concept play out in my life…..easy I am harassed by negative thoughts every day from petty things like man I wish my stomach where flat or muscles toned to big things like what if I fail a class and don’t graduate……what if I graduate and can’t afford the stuff……what if this is it for me……what if I don’t get into graduate school……what if all my dreams in life are just that dreams…….what if I never get married…….what if I don’t have kids……what if another member of my family dies young……..what if this person is talking bad about me to other……what if….what if…..what if(I swear I am being raped by negative thoughts). However I finally realized all I am doing is trying to think them away instead of cultivating ways to counteract them. If I am worried about my appearance I should spend less time in my bed on the computer and more time outside walking around. If I am worried about graduating I should spend less time saying after this I will do my work and actually do it. If I am worried about money I should start babysitting or something (I need suck it up and go home to work on the weekends). If I am worried about my future I need to start making my present better and stop just thinking and start doing. So the moral of this story thinking only gets you so far action gets you the rest of the way and then some.

4 comments:

  1. I should really proofread before I post

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  2. This is great stuff Ashley. I love your exploration of the importance of the words themselves. Keep on cultivating the opposite.

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  3. I love this post. I have been harassed by negative thoughts too. Reading the sutra and seeing that it said to just think the opposite of those negative thoughts, I didn't think it could be done. I am definitely the type of person that thinks too much and dwells on everything. I do not necessarily think I am capable of making bad thoughts just go away by thinking of their opposites. However, I love that you wrote that it takes action. Therefore, maybe my first step should be action which will then change my thoughts. Awesome post!

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  4. Thank Melissa and Dr. Schultz....even though i most likely told you that in class. It is so strange re-reading things. You can tell where your mindset was at the time and what happened after. I believe this was the last time I fully had my stuff together.....after this the panic set in and the negative thoughts attack with a vengeance and low and behold I tried to think them away for a time. Serious case of I needed to take my own advice.

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